truth be told

No matter how long you hide the truth beneath your tongue, someday it will be revealed. .and you'll just never know how or when.
This is a story about one single day in my life. That day, October 13th 2011, will be one of those i can't ever forget. and if you guess this story is about me and my "someone special", hell you're right.
So there's a girl (of course it's a girl. What the hell did you think?!). I can't tell you how long we've got to know each other. All i know, i had a crush on her from the very beginning. A secret crush, and it remained silent for a few years. .until that special night came.
We started that quality time watching Final Destination 5. Damn, the movie is so heart-shocking. Full of blood, human body parts break into pieces. I just couldn't stop screaming and closing my eyes with my hand along the movie. What about her? Well, sometimes for one tragic scene she said, "ooh, that's so impossible." next scene she said, "it should not be like that." no wonder, because she is a future-doctor. She knows human body part and how it can be destructed very well. And she thought that the movie is not based on what-she-had-been-taught.
Even though i didn't quite understand all the doctor things she explained, i really loved the way she talked. In fact, i love all about her. #eeaaa *jedug-jedug-jedug*
I had a feeling that the night was gonna be a good night. No, i'm not singing. I knew there were a lot of things we would like to share. So we went to D'Lounge after the movie. For your information only, that was the very first time i walk into D'Lounge. O great, i just made myself sounds "ndeso". Mwahahahaaa.
It was about 8.30 pm when we walked in. We chose a seat next to the window, we ordered the menu, and then we started talking. We talked about everything, from the GEJE things to serious problems.
You know that feeling when you think that it doesn't matter what you are talking about, but it's whom you're talking with? Yeah, that is exactly what i felt.
And when it almost reached the point where we had nothing left to say, she said something that made me speechless. Just call it #JlebMoments.
"so fajrin," she said, "a friend of mine ever told me once, that it is nearly impossible for a man who is very close to a woman and he doesn't have any special feeling about her."
#DEG
I wasn't just speechless. I also had that palpitation thing. And yes that's how my body reacts when such #JlebMoments come.
Inhaled. Exhaled.
"well, your friend was right." i replied. "and yes i do have a special feeling about you."
"then how come you never told me? Were you afraid of something?"
"it's not about being afraid. It's just. . .gosh, how can i say this. It's like i'm seeing a wall. A high wall. Even if i can look through the wall, somehow i just can't walk through it. I mean. .i know where we both standing."
The palpitation still continued.
"like i just said, i do have a special feeling about you. I do love you. .i care about you, and for God's sake i always have your name in my prayers."
"you know what fajrin, actually i can feel you. I've always been."
"well, i'm not smart enough to hide my feelings after all."
We knew we had been talking so long when we realized that there were few people left and the waitress started cleaning up the dishes. It was 10.30 pm, the closing time for D'Lounge. So we went home.
When we walked out, we found all the tenants at MOG had closed. The lights had been shut down. It was a little bit creepy to walk in the darkness of MOG. You should try it sometimes. :D
On our way to parking lot, i said to her, "well, so be it. Truth be told. You now know all about my feelings. Nothing left hidden inside." She just smiled. On that way too, i accidentally held her hand. That was the sweetest moment i've ever had. She just didn't realize it. But now you do, don't you? :))
Were we really going home? Well, deep inside we both didn't want to go home soon. Especially me. It's always a sweet moment when spending times with her.
So in the next half an hour, we brought ourselves queueing in McD Watugong. We ordered french fries for the snack, and since i already quit drinking soda, we ordered cold milo for the beverage.
Yes we wanted to talk more. Seemed like we still had much more to say. So we talked again. Talked about us, just the two of us.
I just couldn't take my eyes off her. The way she talked, she laughed, she smiled, made me thinking that God just sent His amazing grace that night. And i wish i could spend more times with her. Spend the night until we both feel the sunlight touch our skins through the windows. But we knew we just couldn't.
Time rolls faster when we are with someone we love. It was already 1.00 am. We had to really go home by that time. So we went home.
I treasure every moment i spend with her. So even if that quality time ended at 1.00 am, somehow it never ends on my memory chest.
If you're following my twitter, sometimes i dedicate a tweet for someone i used to call "sunshine". Yes it's her. Hmm, another truth be told. :))
And that's how the story goes.
:)))
[Truth be told, is a phrase by Steve Jobs when he delivered a speech on Stanford University Commencement at June 2005.]
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Sent from my Nokia E63 SmartPhone.

random. random banget.

so, timnas kalah lagi ya. berarti udah gak ada harapan lolos ke putaran final piala dunia kan. so sad isn't it. aah, tapi sepertinya orang-orang kita sudah kehabisan stok sedih. setiap hari persediaan "sedih" kita sudah dipakai. korupsi merajalela, sedih. liat tanah air kita (lagi-lagi) dicaplok tetangga yang ngakunya serumpun, sedih. sea games yang sekarang statusnya sudah darurat, sedih. ini itu, sedih. see, kita sudah terlalu sering bersedih. .sudah terlalu akrab dengan kesedihan, sampai-sampai kita lupa rasa sedih itu sebenarnya seperti apa.